April 20, 2010

All I want...

All I want is an adorable, not-too-old-but-with-tons-of-character, five bedroom bungalow with a gorgeous yard on a quiet street in a perfect neighborhood.

All I want is enough extra money to go on a shopping spree to replace my sad, outdated, dwindling wardrobe.

All I want is a week to myself so I can organize and finish projects: photos (countless!), baby books (two of them!), house decor, framing, cleaning (top to bottom!), filing, packing...the list goes on.

All I want is to be able to spend three hours at the gym (that means I want the membership, too!) without feeling guilty for spending time away from my kids.

All I want is to win that illusive $5000 shopping spree that I always enter from my Target receipts.  Then I could buy groceries and diapers without feeling the pinch in my pocketbook.

All I want is to take a vacation without being pregnant or nursing...I can't remember what that is like!

All I want is a totally loaded, beautiful, brand-new charcoal gray Toyota Sienna Minivan (with auto doors and lift gate, leather, and GPS).

All I want is to win a jackpot so that my husband doesn't have to work so hard - so I can spend more time each day with my best friend.

Will I ever get anything I want?


Maybe not.

While I want so much, I have everything.  Some of the things I want could probably be accomplished: the gym membership (or at least 20 minutes to workout at some point during the day while the kids are napping!); the time to finish projects (I could get a babysitter sometime and take a little time for myself); or even the non-prego/non-nursing vacation in the coming months.

I may want a lot of things - don't we all?  After all, the world tells us we should do whatever it takes to have the best of everything, more than we need, and we should stop at nothing to get it.  Isn't that why credit card bills rack-up so quickly?

When I step back and look at my life, I have everything.  Even though my wardrobe is outdated and I can't afford to update it; even though my house is anything but my dream home, even though I almost never get a moment to myself because my husband is busy working two jobs, even though I would love a week or two on an exotic vacation...

Even without all that, I have everything.  I have a modest home that keeps us warm and gives me the little diy projects I enjoy.  I have a husband who works hard so that I can stay home with my kids full-time.  I have family and friends who support me no matter what.  I have a car that is safe for me to get the kids to and from playdates and music lessons.  Most of all, I have two beautiful, healthy, handsome little boys.  And that is the greatest gift.  Thinking of my boys, I realize there is really nothing I can want.  I have everything because I have them.